The Crush Files Case# 187: Christopher Walken (cue the cowbell . . .)

According to Saint Jerome, I spent most of my childhood sitting in the dark. To a certain extent this is true because New York was filled with dance companies, musical endeavors and experimental theater. If we weren't at the ballet we were at The Public Theater seeing some god-awful, mediocre, or amazing play. One play we saw was Thomas Babe's Kid Champion. It was 1975 (and I am pretty sure it was the premiere run of the play in NY) and I don't think I had turned 10 yet. From what I recall, the play was about the rise and fall of a rock star called Kid Champion. Kid Champion was played by Christopher Walken. This was before Annie Hall and The Deer Hunter sealed his reputation as a creepy weirdo. I had never seen such a beautiful creature. He had beautiful platinum blond hair, long almond eyes, chiseled cheekbones, and a gorgeous red, rosebud mouth. Delicate, androgynous, but masculine. Slender, super cool and super sexy. Even at 9-years old I felt it.

I don't remember much about the play itself. I remember being fascinated by one of the female groupies whose costume included flowers painted on her face and on her naked breasts and being fascinated by depictions of drug use and what seemed to be real pot on the stage. The one scene that I remember most vividly, however, was the rock concert scene. Kid comes out and instead of performing, he begins a long, ranting monologue about people not knowing who the real "him" inside, they are only interested in the outer rock star persona and god-knows what else like that. He begins to strip — to expose the real person beneath the glitter that is "Kid Champion." Well, Christopher Walken strips down to a teeny, tiny metallic silver bikini brief. I'm sitting there having a heart attack terrified that he will expose himself and secretly willing it at the same time. Anyway, Christopher Walken-as-Kid Champion hooks his thumbs into the waistband, starts to pull down the silver bikini briefs to bare his soul and nether regions when the character is SHOT! Well that put the kabosh on that! I don't remember much else about the play. I must have had stars flashing in my eyes for the rest of it or maybe the rest wasn't worth remembering.

I should find a copy of Kid Champion and read it to see how it jives with my memory. And just to show you how gorgeous:

 

and the best scene from an interesting movie, Christopher Walken as a pimp stripping down to boxers and not bikinis in Pennies From Heaven: